


Phichit Knows Everything

by flippednique



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Back when they shared a dorm, But sorta not, M/M, Phichit is hurt, Regular shenanigans, Tuesday's are their day, Yuuri has been bad, best friends fight
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-30
Updated: 2017-01-30
Packaged: 2018-09-20 22:42:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9519128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flippednique/pseuds/flippednique
Summary: Yuuri thinks about it. Fight or flight. Fight or flight. Dammit fight. "You seem a little... tense.""Oh do I?" Phichit asks, his eyes wide. So wide it's starting to freak Yuuri out just a little.





	

When Katsuki Yuuri comes home to a quiet dormitory void of adorable hamsters (who are probably really secret agents since they get out of their cage so often ) and their owner isn't frantically hopping around on one foot with a pot over his head in his attempts to cajole them back into said cage, he knows without a doubt that something isn't right.

Thus, he enters their living room with one hand behind him on the door knob in case he needs to haul ass and make a quick escape.

"Phichit?" Yuuri calls out.

His roommate answers him from the kitchen. "I'm in here."

Yuuri's nerves are temporarily appeased and he ventures further into their dorm. When he gets to the kitchen, Phichit has his back turned to him as he went about cooking something that smells... spicy.

Uh oh. His mental checklist was getting worse and worse.

1\. A quiet dorm.  
2\. Chilis in the kitchen.

What was next? A voice message of doom?

"You're back late." Phichit says without turning and there is an edge to his voice as he chops with one of their sharper knives.

Yuuri flinches at the terrible CHOP CHOP CHOP sound it makes each time blade meets wood. "Uh... yeah, I had coffee with a friend."

He doesn't miss the way Phichit's shoulders hunch together, his ear seems to twitch. "A friend, huh?"

"Yeah..." Yuuri contemplates on whether or not he should proceed. He shrugs his coat off, feeling warmer in the kitchen. "Is... everything okay Phichit? Are you... okay?"

"What?" The Thai skater turns around from the board, right hand brandishing his knife. He gestures to himself with the other, thankfully, empty hand. "Me? I'm fine Yuuri. Fine as can be. Dandy. Spiffy. I wonder why you ask!"

Yuuri thinks about it. Fight or flight. Fight or flight. Dammit fight. "You seem a little... tense."

"Oh do I?" Phichit asks, his eyes wide. So wide it's starting to freak Yuuri out just a little. "Maybe it's because, I don't know, my best friend decided to go out for the first time in two weeks and didn't even think to tell me?!"

Yuuri flinches. "H-How did you find out?!"

"I know everything, Yuuri." Phichit brandishes the knife and comes close to stabbing himself.

"Okay, before we hash this out," Yuuri glares at him. "Put that away first."

Phichit does as he's told and puts his hands on his hips. The perfect look of disappointment crossing his face. "I can't believe you Yuuri. Going out with Jonathan, on a Tuesday! Tuesday's are our days!"

Yuuri exhales slowly, "Will you believe me if I tell you that it was an accident and that I did not at all mean for it to happen?"

"That's what they all say!" Phichit cries out.

"It's just this one time Phichit. I can have other friends, right?" Yuuri argues his defense.

The Thai skater places a hand on his chest, face completely aghast. "Are you saying I'm not good enough?"

"What? No!" Yuuri crosses his arms over his chest. "Don't put words in my mouth, Phichit, you know I hate that."

"I just cannot believe this, Yuuri." Phichit shakes his head. "After all these years, I know. I know okay! You can have other friends. But when I woke up this morning I was content to believe that you and I would be having dinner together, then I have to find out that you spent hours prior to said dinner roaming a mall with someone other than me, your best friend? On a Tuesday!"

Yuuri starts to feel a little stressed. "I told you it was an accident! He didn't have class and asked if I wanted to go! I was thinking of you the whole time!"

"Yeah you better have!" Phichit snaps. "That guy stole my creative ideas for the vlog event. I hope you haven't forgotten how he's ruined me, Yuuri."

"Of course I haven't." Yuuri sighs. "Look, I'm sorry I spent time with Jonathan."

Phichit makes a noise. "We do not mention that name in this house."

Yuuri rolls his eyes. "You said it not five minutes ago."

"I cannot recall." Phichit comments.

Yuuri sighs. "Are we done arguing about this now? I swear it won't happen again. You are my best friend, and I know that he is the worse of the worst for stealing your ideas."

Phichit looks at him with an expression of consideration. "I'm ready to put this behind us."

"Yay." Yuuri smiles.

"But I just need to know one thing." Phichit continues.

Yuuri waits.

"Did you take a selfie with him?" Phichit asks.

Yuuri opens his mouth to reply, to say no, then he realizes he would be lying. He stares at Phichit with wide eyes, an expression of guilt.

Phichit gapes at him, then asks again. "Yuuri... did you or did you not... take a selfie with him."

"Phichit..."

"OH MY GOD!" The Thai skater is rushing past Yuuri and slamming the door. "I want a divorce!"

"Phichit think of the children!" Yuuri knocks on the door. "And that's my bedroom too. My bed would miss me."

"Not as much as your new selfie-mall buddy will, why don't you go sleep with him, huh?" Phichit's voice calls back. "And how dare you bring the children up?! They're mine! I raised them, I keep them!"

"You bought them for two dollars each and you lose them on a daily basis." Yuuri says back. "If child services finds out, you lose them all."

The door swings open and Yuuri has a very angry Thai glaring at him. "I hate it when you're right."

"I hate me sometimes too." Yuuri confesses.

The look on Phichit's face softens and his entire body loses its tense position. "I just... I feel betrayed Yuuri I HATE that guy. Capital H A T E. Hate."

"I know." Yuuri nods. "I know and I'm sorry but you know how I am when people talk to me. I can't say no."

"Mhm." Phichit nods back then sighs and opens his arms. "I'm sorry I overreacted. I don't want a divorce. I love my best friend."

Yuuri hugs him tight. "He doesn't have your selfie skills."

"Damn right he doesn't. He has zero skills." Phichit pulls back then stiffens in Yuuri's hold.

"What?" Yuuri asks immediately.

Phichit is looking at him, apologetic. "Uh, I may have... left the stove on?"

It takes a moment for it to sink in and Yuuri is running to the kitchen. "Phichit!!"

"I was angry!"

"I want a divorce!"

"Think of the children Yuuri! They don't deserve this!"

Yuuri's sensors were off though. It was a typical college-dorm-life night.

"The smoke alarms are going off!!"

 

**Author's Note:**

> Might turn it into a multi chap. XD would you like to read more of these two best friends?


End file.
